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“I really thought about the middle-class values I grew up with,” says Melinda of parenting. “I knew how I did not want my children to turn out” Another thing that comes across, sitting with these women, is that no matter your resources or background, no matter if you are giving away millions or raising money for the PTA, parenting is a profound and humbling leveler. Melinda writes in her memoir from earlier this year, The Next Day: Transitions, Change, and Moving Forward, of leaving a Seattle hospital with newborn Jenn, and in those first days at home, experiencing an earthquake. “I realized I would have died for her that night,” she writes. “Here was undeniable evidence that, at the center of my heaving chest, pulsing from my hammering heart, was a force that hadn’t existed there before: a maternal love so primal and ferocious it was almost violent.” (Melinda is a reader as well as a writer, says her book editor Will Schwalbe. When they met in New York for sandwiches and iced tea in the unglamorous downstairs restaurant in the publisher’s building, he asked her what she was reading. He remembers she pulled two books—The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo and a novel by Ann Patchett—from her bag.)Official Stop Cheating On Your Future With Your Passhirt
For Melinda, parenting meant stepping away from her career at Microsoft. She wanted to be as “present for them as my mother was for me,” she writes in her memoir. Even when her work for what was then called the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation (launched in 2000) began to dominate her attention, she set parameters. She wouldn’t conduct work calls when her kids were in the car, for instance—a rule she adhered to until one day she had to drive Phoebe and Rory across town to pick up a (second) puppy, and there was a discussion about personnel management that couldn’t wait. But overhearing her mother was a revelation, Phoebe says: “I remember you talking about building the right team and finding the right people. I remember being so young, but being able to soak up some of those lessons.” Phoebe’s start-up Phia has raised $8 million in seed funding from investors like Hailey Bieber, Kris Jenner, and Sheryl Sandberg, among others. “I’m so grateful that I had an example of a mom who was out there in the world doing good and working,” adds Jenn. “I hope that my girls also see that I’m working and enjoying what I’m doing outside of them.”
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